Monthly Archives: October 2013

Love is a Journey



Alex and I after our wedding ceremony. Photo courtesy of Aaron Montoya.

Alex and I after our wedding ceremony. Photo courtesy of Aaron Montoya.

It was about 3 weeks ago that I exchanged wedding vows with my best friend, who is also the love of my life. Awwww!! The whole day was about as emotional as it could get. The ceremony brought forth a flood of tears from both myself and our guests. And the reception…well, let’s just say my abs were sore for 5 days from laughing with our friends and family.

A few weeks before the wedding, though, there was one extremely emotional moment. Wait, there were a lot more than one. But there was one that might just stick with me forever. I sat down to start writing our vows and everything I thought, said, and put down on paper seemed awful. Nothing fit. And of course this brought up all the existential questions of marriage: what are we to each other? How do we really feel? On and on it went. I’m not saying these things are bad to think about or talk about. Quite the opposite. So, we really got down to business and, in the search for all the right words, I suggested that we each make a list of the ten most important qualities about our relationship. The catastrophe began when the list-making ended. Realizing that I had not even included the word ‘love’ in my list, I surrendered to this task in a sobbing mental breakdown, like any good bride-to-be does once or twice. Sigh. This is embarrassing. I can laugh about it now, right? Umm maybe one day.

Anyways, Alex tried his darndest to comfort me and convince me that all of the other words I wrote down meant love.

“But I didn’t write love,” I blathered. “None of them are love.”

The tears kept comin’. But once I pulled myself together and thought about getting over my oversight, we were able to come up with something that spoke to the essence of us as individuals and as a couple:

"Just Married"

“Just Married”

Our love is a journey.

From mountaintops to ocean floors

From childhood to adulthood

And from this day forward into the great unknown.

I’ll stop there. It was easy for us to see the truth in these. There are many parallels to be made between physical journeys, like travelling, and emotional journeys, like love. I could of course go on and on with really thoughtful comparisons like this: When you’re travelling, whether near or far, you just never know if you’re bus is going to careen off the side of the road, and, likewise, when in love you just never know whether or not your relationship is going to ‘stay on track.’

Or, on a lighter note, like this: When you’re travelling, whether near or far, you will discover the world piece by piece, and, likewise, when you’re in love you will piece together the world within yourself and each other.

But no one really wants to hear all the thoughtful comparisons. What I can really say is that we knew this to be true before we kicked off our vows with it, but with the thought tied into a promise to each other it’s forever in my head, reminding me of the inevitable laughs and tears of love the same as they come in any other journey.