I’m a Coloradan, but


I say I’m from Colorado- born and raised- and you might think certain things about me. 

If you’ve read any recent articles about this great state, you might envision me, the ‘native,’ smoking a joint and sipping craft beer while climbing a fourteener with my dog. 

Maybe you see me riding my bike to a stellar running trail and stuffing my face with green chiles afterwards. 

Perhaps, in your vision, I love Boulder.

The truth is I am a Coloradan, but I feel tense on a bicycle and I’m not too fond of running…no matter how hard I try.

I’m a Coloradan, but my favorite beer is not a craft beer. Wait, what exactly is a craft beer? Does Blue Moon count? Doubt it. 

I’m a Coloradan, but I prefer 13ers to 14ers. Sometimes, I even climb lowly 12,000 foot peaks. 

I’m a Coloradan, but I don’t think Denver is cool. And Boulder is pretty much the worst. 

I’m a Coloradan, and legalization is cool, but I don’t smoke weed.

I’m a Coloradan, but I don’t own a dog and, to be totally honest, only like a select few dogs.

I’m a Coloradan, but I don’t like green chiles and have never eaten Rocky Mountain Oysters.

I’m a Coloradan, but, even here in the second happiest state, I get darn crabby some days and downright sad on others. 

I’m a Coloradan, but I have indeed thrown recyclable materials in the trash before. Gasp.

I’m a Coloradan and I love where I live. But I’m not convinced that this awesome state is awesome in the way it’s being branded to be awesome…

My Colorado? 

Childhood camping trips at campgrounds. Hot summer days at the pool. Construction zone. Learning to ski at age 5. Road work ahead. Being a days’ drive from Yellowstone. Begin: Fines double in work zone. Hiking tan lines. Ski traffic…jk I live in the mountains. Trading 14er crowds and status for lonely 13ers and a total lack of glory. End: fines double. Skipping the ski resort for backcountry skiing in deserted forests. Begin: fines double. Snow in September, followed by 7 months of solid winter spent  skiing, snowboarding, and consuming too much cheap whiskey and bacon only to find it’s still snowing in May. 

And drinking a regular old beer out of a good old-fashioned can at the end of the day. 


….. : fines double. 


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