For about 6 months, there’s been a certain question about Peace Corps, a certain expected emotion, that’s been steady and consistent.
‘Are you nervous?’
And, although there have been moments of nerves, my overall feeling was such that I could truthfully answer ‘No. Uh uh. Nope. Not really.’
We’ve had the desire to live abroad for 5 or 6 years now. We applied for Peace Corps 18 months ago. And although we didn’t know what the outcome would be, the idea alone has become so normal, just a part of our day to day.
Most of my nerves have centered around not seeing our families for so long. I’m not so nervous about going back to Africa. Learning a new language seems plenty do-able. Feeling sick is expected. And the savings account is lookin good, so making close to no money doesn’t seem like a big deal.
My sister’s mouth dropped open in disbelief on Friday night when I told her I really am not nervous.
“You’re not nervous to poop in a hole for 2 years?”
And as Alex needled me about something at the dinner table:
“You’re not nervous that this is the only person you’re going to know in the whole country?!”
I’ll meet people.
Despite a bit of stress and momentary panic about silly things like the number of skirts to bring, the nerves were kept at bay during the preparation process.
But, after 14 hours of errand-running and bag-packing yesterday, it hit me:
Holy shit we are leaving and kind of for a long time even though it’s a short time compared to our whole life and even though it’s gonna go by fast I can’t believe those bags are getting on a plane to Africa and we’re going with them!!
Five hours of sleep and one Youtube grounding meditation later, things are feeling pretty steady once again as we begin our last Colorado day.
I think I’m officially on the roller coaster…and it might be a long ride.